Evil SM STORIES: Minako Goes to Venice!
by vavvoom
Summary: Minako has some strange ideas in Venice... part of my EVIL SM STORY series! *Caution: Insanity ahead!*


Minako goes to Venice!  
  
It was a beautiful day in Venice! Minako was on summer vacation and she had always wanted to visit Venice.  
She was there with Artemis, Rei and Ami. Usagi was in summer school because she had flunked EVERY class,  
and Makoto for some reason didn't want to go to Venice. When the girls told her they were going, Makoto yelled,   
"EW, YOU DISGUST ME!!" and ran away.  
  
They took a plane to Italy, without telling their parents. Nobody noticed they were gone anyway.  
They left for 2 years.  
Anyway, it was a beautiful day in Venice. And Minako was having lots of fun. All of them were riding  
a really pretty gondola down a canal. Rei thought Venice was really nice, as long as you kept a clothespin  
on your nose. (WHich she was doing) There were piles of billions-of-year old poop and sewage clogging the canal,  
and everyone over the age of 3 was smoking. Ami said she wanted to go home.  
  
Minako was having fun putting her hand in the water and smelling it. "Hey, there's more poop clogging this canal  
than the last one!!" she laughed. Artemis wrinkled his nose. Rei pushed Minako into the canal.   
Ami got scared and tried to escape. But Rei had gone plum crazy from the toxic ancient poo fumes and pushed everyone   
on the boat into the poop-water (including the driver).   
  
Minako, Artemis, and Ami swam to the surface, covered with ancient DUNG and sludge. Ami almost suffocated, but  
fortunately, the driver (who had regained control of the gondola and knoked Rei unconcious) gave Ami   
mouth-to-mouth recessitation.  
Ami got a big crush on him. But her Italian wasn't very good, and she could only swear at him.  
Minako was mad, because she also had a crush on him. She pretended she was suffocating, so he would rescue   
her too. But he pushed her into the water. Minako drowned him with poop and took over the gondola. Ami was   
crying, and Artemis wished he never went on vacation with Minako.  
Rei woke up and put on a gas mask. Then she said, in a funny voice (because of the gas mask), "Let's go to  
the plaza!" Ami thought that was a great idea, so Minako steered the gondola towards the city center. She  
broke all of the trafffic laws, but nobody cared because they were in Italy. Then they arrived at the plaza,  
and got out of the boat. Rei led them to a place where there was an old ugly man selling seeds.   
Ami asked, "What are all those seeds for?" The man said, "Va fa Napoli!" (a very RUDE thing)  
  
Ami thought he was very strange. But Minako (who is FLUENT in Italian) said, " Ma, cosa hai detto??  
Tieni, schifettzza!!"  
  
"What did you say!? Take this, digusting little feminine thing!!"  
  
and she transformed, used her Venus Lovely Chain to knock over the old man's  
stall, and the seeds sprayed everywhere. INSTANLY, BILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF PIGEONS flew to them and ALMOST  
KILLED THEM by landing all over them and pecking the ground.  
  
Rei and Ami screamed and tried to run. But Minako thought it was so cool. She liked having filthy, dirty,  
fat pigeons land all over her. So she came up with MINAKO'S BRILLIANT IDEA #578!!!!!!  
  
That night at the hotel, Mina asked Ami an important question.  
  
Mina: "AMi, do you know how to make a leaf blower?"  
Ami: "Huh? Just a regular leaf blower?"  
Mina: "Yeah, could ya?"  
Ami: "Well, yes, if I had the right materials, a machine of that genre couln't be that hard to build."  
Mina: "SERIOUSLY? And could you make it blow out other stuff, other than just air?"  
Ami: "I'm afraid I don't understand..."  
Mina: "Like, ... seeds, for example?"  
Ami: "Oh, sure!"  
Mina: "THANKS, you're the best Ami!!" *hugged Ami and skipped away happily*  
Ami: "But.. why the @#%$ would you want something that blows out seeds?? MINAKO!??"  
  
The next morning, Minako had everything ready and according to plan. She locked the door to her hotel room.   
Then she changed into a wetsuit. She wiped Elmer's Glue all over herself. Then she opened up 47 bags of   
bird seed and dumped them all over the floor. She rolled in the seeds, and they stuck all over her suit.  
Then, she took the seed-blower that Ami had built and attached it to a loong tube. The tube went out the window,  
and traveled 3000467329 miles to the ACME Birdseed factory in Jamaica. Now she could have a neverending supply of   
birdseed. She attached 5 leafblower hoses to her suit and put on a motorcycle helmet. She was READY!!!  
  
Minako walked to the plaza. Immediately, a large flock of birds landed on her and began to peck the seeds off her   
suit. Minako laughed. "YOU WANT SEEDS, I'LL GIVE YA SEEDS!!!!" She turned on....MINAKO'S SEED-DISTRIBUTOR 911!!!  
  
"LOTS OF SEEDS!! TONS OF SEEDS!! BILLIOOOOOONS OF SEEEEEDS!!!!" she screamed hysterically.  
  
The pigeons went insane!!!! They suddenly all flew away. Minako was upset. "What?? Why did they-..."  
But her words were cut short as a loud thundering sound began to echo all through the city. It sounded  
like a volcano, an avalanche, and a hurricane all together!!! Minako looked at the rooftops of the city.  
IT WAS A GIANT THUNDERCLOUD OF BILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF PIGEONS!!! IT CONTAINED EVERY PIGEON IN ITALY!!!  
AND THEY WERE FLYING AT HER LIKE MISSILES!!!  
  
Minako was soooo happy!!!! "YES, MY BRILLIANT PLAN WORKED PERFECTLY!!" she shouted as she was suddenly drowned by  
filthy wings, pecking beaks, and fleas.  
Then, she set the SEED-DISTRIBUTOR 911 to TURBOOOO-MOOOODE!!  
  
Minako was squished by 50 billion pounds of pigeon. And they kept coming!!! All the pigeons in Europe, Africa,   
and Australia!! All the pigeons in SOuth America, North America, and Asia!! All the pigeons in HAwaii!! Even the  
pigeons in the Arctic and Antarctica!!! ALL THE PIGEONS....IN THE WOOOOORLD!!!!  
  
Everyone on Earth was killed by pigeons.   
  
the end 


End file.
